Today I attended my friends marriage. I had a good time. Friends make anything bearable. lol. RP's case studies were awesome.
I love my mom. I feel guilty that I didn't do anything for her. I shout at her sometimes and cry later. My dear mother...you are the best mom in this world. Whatever I say or do to express what you mean to me, it will never be enough.
I saw those swatches again..... Some day I'm going buy one with my own money. I wish I was rich. Come to think of it, I wish a lot of things.
And why the hell should I be a social butterfly?? I maintain good terms with anyone I come across. Isn't that enough? Should I start fraandshipping with everyone single person on this planet earth or what?

Review

• You are color-blind. Everything appears grey to you.
• Line meeeeee.
• Deo ra.
• No matter what color dress you wear, it is always matching-matching with your brother's. *Rolling-my-eyes*
• You will get doubts like "When is new year celebrated? December 1st or January 1st?"
• Someone really starts doubting your brains. Rather big body with little brains.
• Your singing makes people think of suicide.
• You attend a wedding and say "many many happy returns of the day" to the couple.
• You have the most weird wardrobe one has ever seen. Never mind everything seems fine to you always.
• You have to disappear at the last minute and appear in the nick of time.
• You are an expert in the subject of "Driving people mad"
• You are deaf.
• Your PC is in excellent health.
• People using your PC feel like banging their head on it.
• You plan everything in advance.
• You can remember spellings very well especially if they are web addresses.
• You are lazy. The only time you open your mouth is when you eat.
• The most frequently said things "What's for the breakfast? When shall we have lunch? Is it dinner time?"
• Your favourite line "Shall we eat? I will eat."
• You will go and rot yourself in the worst hostel for no good reason. You will be ready to leave that place everyday for a month.
• ><>
• Ask "Where is the third left?"
• Are you a true friend? If you are a true friend then....
• The "OK" formula.
• You can draw a straight line. Yes you can draw it. Atleast I think so.
• Where is your ship?
• You know you should have been in politics. Let us start a party!
• You are pro at spellings.
• Your writing is a conundrum to the cryptography department.
• You are alwaaaayss yaaaactiveeee.
• Come with your weapon and enerzeeeee tomorrow.
• Each and every file in your PC should be on your desktop, including short cuts for all the drives.
• Houses make you feel like it's raining. They look like are climate to you. Especially the lavender ones.
• You have a very odd way to dress your hair.

Lazy Lamhe...

Why am I not blogging? Because I was too lazy to do that these days. Thought to give that indolence a break now. Nothing much to write I guess. Most of the major tensions are gone. Fresh ones started. I think I'm happy. I'm not sure about that.
Anyways the bright side is I need not write exams everyday and worry about the score. I need not be bothered about vocab. At the end of the day I need not worry that I could'nt read the day's editorial. I will not dream about failing in an exam. I don't have to go through the 45 pages of google search results for practice tests. I need not sign up in stupid sites and have my inbox filled with their junk mail. I need not read the most boring lectures or go through the thesis of some unknown scientist about the behaviour of worms or the archeology department's theory on the extinction of the most boring tribes on this earth and try to decipher them. My friends will not consider me a geek anymore. Bhanu and vinds will not give me one of those "are-you-an-alien?" type of glances and grimaces. I can listen to my prof's if I want to or sleep with my eyes open. I can read any novel I want to. Hmmm....enjoying these lazy lamhe.......

Reticent me.

Cant explain in detail. Seriously, one of these days I'm going to be demented and the people in white clothes are going to arrive to take me. Thank god, college reopens tomorrow. 30 days of nothing is pure torture. The idea of seeing my rainbow tomorrow is exhilarating. Let me tell you what I've done all these days. A book, a system, a chair and a bed. Hope you get the idea. When ever our great Institute of education is on, I feel like idling at home and whenever it is off I feel like attending the classes. Sounds capricious. Nothing ever happens in my dull and boring life. Nothing can bring a spark of interest or excitement in me. I've already classified myself as reticent. My mind simply refuses to interact with anyone. I dont want to see any new faces in my world. The best part of today is lilly and dolly are back. Hurray!!!
I just felt like talking. I guess I've prated to my heart's content. See you later blog.

When will tomorrow start without me?

Don't ask me about that title I don't know what it means. Decipher what ever you want. It's been 20 long years. And it's like I've been sleeping all these years. What did I do all these years? Seriously nothing. I don't know what I'm going to do. Where am I heading to? Life sounds like a big question mark. I cant understand anyone and no one understands me. Its already depressing out here and to top it all my best friend is out of town. Lilly, I'm missing you like hell.
I cant express anything.
Everything is always entirely my fault.
I'm the one who hurts people. I spend half of my life apologizing for what I've done.
Oh no don't think about me, no one can ever hurt me. I'm an insensitive snob. Add impassive to that. I've got a heart made of stone.
Once again I repeat Everything is my fault. I'm the one who needs to be blamed.
I'm also selfish. I always think from my perspective. Who cares about others?
I have already mentioned that I'm an insensitive snob. So don't expect me to show courtesy.
I'm dumb. So its obvious that I act dumb.
Hey you know something.....I don't have any feelings or emotions.
My Emotional Quotient(EQ) is zero.
And I'm sorry I'm not perfect.
And I'm sorry I'm not the way you want.
And I'm sorry I couldn't even act the way you want.
Ok fine, I've described enough. I will add some more in future. Bye.

Does Anyone Care???

Understand the things I say Don’t turn away from me
Cause I spent half my life out there You wouldn’t disagree
D’you see me, d’you see Do you like me, do you like me standing there
D’you notice, d’you know Do you see me, do you see me
Does anyone care
Unhappiness, where’s when I was young
And we didn’t give a damn ’cause we were raised To see life as fun and take it if we can
My mother, my mother she hold me Did she hold me, when I was out there
My father, my father, he liked me Ol he liked me,
Does anyone care
Understand what I’ve become It wasn’t my design
And people everywhere think Something better than I am
But I miss you, I miss’cause I liked it, I liked it
When I was out there
D’you know this, d’you know You did not find me, you did not find me
Does anyone care Does any one care Does anyone care....

A Blissful Heart In my vivified life

Confounded.

winter's cityside crystal bits of snowflakes all around my head and in the wind.
I had no illusions that I'd ever find a glimpse of summer's heatwaves in your eyes.
Now it's history I see here's my comeback on the road again.
Things will happen while they can passing silhouettes of strange illuminated mannequins.

Suicide.

Guess what Mr.Vilasrao Dadoji Deshmukh, Chief Minister of Maharashtra, replied when journalists asked him about the death toll of farmers? He said that even though suicide is a legal offence, no farmer was apprehended on this charge. But nobody noticed the government's generosity. Great. Simply great. How could we have ever missed this Great-heartiness?

Suicide came from a Latin word suicidium meaning killing oneself. A person commits suicide when he depicts that death is more comfortable than life. It is not easy to kill oneself. It requires lot of valor. If the same mettle could be used in life to find solace, there won't be any suicides. There can be many causes for a suicide. Psychological, environmental, terrorism, extreme nationalism and Euthanasia . People say that best way to suicide is poisoning oneself. The best poisons are cyanide and endrine. Cyanide is hard to get. Often males attempt successful suicides while female methods are failure prone. Some people write a suicide note and some do not. Some people see suicide as a human right. ( The "right to die"). There are even suicide spots like the suicide bridge in London.

I wonder how death would be. What will it be like? What will people think just before their death? No one knows what happens after death.
I happened to see a website called suicide.org. I wonder to what extent it can help people.

You

I saw you for the first time in a small village. I know you since 2 decades. I came all this way without ever talking to you. You have given me memories to cherish both bright and dark.Your inception was bitter. May be that was too early to judge you. Except for a few twinkles you were total melancholy. The best part of you in those days was, you introduced me to this wonderful girl who became my best friend and will remain so forever.

I started relishing you several years later. You were at your best in my adolescence. I made friends for the first time who liked me for what I am. Honestly speaking they were another insane and weird lot like me. May be that's why we have developed a close bonding with each other. Together we had a blast in our school. You filled all those days with bright colors. If I were given a chance to live some moments again, I would choose those instants.

You were cheerful in one way but depressing in another during teenage. You made me stay in the same place so many years that I was craving for some change. But it never came. That was the cost I had to pay for my indolence. I'm the one to blame for that. So never mind. You know I always had a feeling that I was in the wrong place. But I couldn't tell you what I thought was right for me. I had no idea. When I discovered my interest , something which I would love to do, it was too late. You have already taken me in another direction. You kept me in a position which I could not renounce.

The bright side of you was that you started changing me at this point of time. And you were successful. People could hardly believe the change in me. I turned from stubborn and obdurate to pleasant and flexible. You made me a better human being. My old pals were quite surprised with my demeanor. They still find it hard to digest that I have changed a lot. But still people think that I'm one hell of an arrogant brat. They say that my face gives them that odd feeling. They judge me even before they know me. And like hell I care.

Did you know about the people I love? First, my mother. No one would ever love me like she does. Next, my friends. I'm proud of them. It is not easy to find friends who are almost like your alter-ego's, who support you, who help you without being selfish and love you for what you are. And I'm grateful to you for finding them. You know the last and the most beloved one.

You were like an oil painting on a canvas painted with every color. You have been gloomy and happy, harsh and gentle, weary and active. You have given me freedom, which people envy at times. There is ambiguity about how you would treat me in future. Sometimes I don't understand you. You seem like a zilch. But I'm ready to endure anything. I love changes and challenges. They make you more exciting.

YOU are my LIFE.

Humming.

Found myself today
Oh I found myself and ran away
Something pulled me back
The voice of reason I forgot I had
All I know is just you're not here to say
What you always used to say
But it's written in the sky tonight
So I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even if it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark
I'll still believeSomeone's watching over me
Seen that ray of light
And it's shining on my destiny
Shining all the time
And I wont be afraid
To follow everywhere it's taking me
All I know is yesterday is gone
And right now I belongTook this moment to my dreams
So I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even if it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe
Someone's watching over me
It doesn't matter what people say
And it doesn't matter how long it takes
Believe in yourself and you'll fly high
And it only matters how true you are
Be true to yourself and follow your heart
So I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong Even if it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe
That I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong Even when it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe
That someone's watching over
Someone's watching over
Someone's watching over me
Someone's watching over me...........


Well, I am what I am what I am could be who you are.
Is, your pain when you smile cause you've built a wall around your heart.
Do the thoughts in your head keep you up cause you feel alone?
And are you strong enough to be yourself?
If you cry would you hide would you want all the world to know?
And if you believed in love would you let it show are you in are you hip are you cool?
Do you try too hard or are you strong enough to be yourself?
If you can't, can't be your self what are you living for?
If you can't, can't be yourself you're gonna lose it all. You're going to find someday. You've got to run away you got to run, run, run away.

Happy

Day was simply excellent. Actually everyday since a week had been just great. I'm back to myself. My alma mater is boring as usual, but my humdrum is gone. Days are as exciting as ever. My friends are constantly getting involved in brawls. Man!! Do I love it? Its absolutely refreshing to have a new fight everyday. Its too funny and exciting. Hope this euphoria stays.
Anyways I'm back to work again. Reading learning and stuff. No more pointless staring. Nothing else to write. See you later blog.

Back

Back after a very long time. I had been on a roller coaster ride for the past few weeks. Did'nt even have time to breath or think about anything else. Exams were followed by our college tour which left me with a lot of memories to cherish. I thought I'd regret going there. But my friends made it a journey of joy and laughter. I never remembered rolling with laughter.....tears streaming down from my eyes.... like I did in the last few days.

Wisdom??

Real knowledge is to the extent of one's ignorance.

Insane Me.

Day was great. I have been laughing like hell. I'm in college now. Actually its lab time. But yeah the work is finished and there are still two dragging hours. Our college imposes stupid rules. We are not supposed to walk in the corridors. We are not supposed to giggle. There is no leisure. And there is an insane rule to top this all.....you are not supposed play basket ball in the basket ball court.

We

On November 25th, many news papers carried a picture of a young man, an adivasi lying on the ground, being trampled by another. The look of hatred and fury says, “Stay there. That’s where you belong, under my feet.” There is a circle of young men watching this ugly inhuman scene. On their faces were looks of arrogant satisfaction. Not an arm is stretched to stop the violence.

Why do people feel such animosity towards certain groups of people? Where does this hate come from? These young men in their 20’s presumably couldn’t have seen enough life to hate so much. So obviously the hate has been passed on from a previous generation. A generation that held firm views regarding people, status and caste. How did they pass it on? By expressing their view openly, treating people callously and giving an example to their children. But this is a new century and a new generation.

We need people like you and me to help change views.And how do we change the old views? Now just by mouthing new ideas or shaking our heads when we see pictures as these or wondering what’s happening to our country, but by actually doing and being a different kind of person. Living a non-violent life style, being compassionate and just, goes a long way in setting an example for a new generation. For most people, the maid, the gardener, the driver and cook are lower beings who are there to serve. Today, we have to remember that they too have rights and we need to treat them with dignity, courtesy and respect.

How can so many people stand by and watch a violent scene and not do anything about it? Where was their sense of compassion? Who put it into their heads that they were so special that they could go out and beat others and trample them on the ground like insects?Today, we need to teach our children to be sensitive to those who may different from us. Their skins may be darker, they may be physically or emotionally challenged. They may be poor, sick or old, but they are still as human as you and I.

It is only when we begin to accept and behave in a way that others are also human and have the same rights that we have, and begin teaching our children the same, will we stop seeing pictures like this.

We may think that we are not like the men in the picture, but if we look carefully at ourselves, we will find that we are. We may not trample another person under our feet physically, but we may squash them emotionally, or verbally.We may not stand around with hard hearts and watch such a scene, but very often we are apathetic and insensitive to some one who is hurt. So in what ways are we better than the young men in the picture?(From The Hindu by Usha Jesudasan)

Introspection

Of all the creatures that inhibit the earth, There is none other decrepit than humans.
We, Homo sapiens don't have the adaptability of insects. ( The first atomic test was detonated by US at Trinity site in July,1945. When the scientists went to inspect that site later , they found out that everything was destroyed except for ants and cockroaches, they were carrying on as though nothing had happened. ) We don't have extremely keen eye sight like eagles. We don't have the ability to produce ultrasonic sounds and spot objects in dark like bats. We don't have the excellence in detecting scents like dogs. We don't have the strategy of virus in destroying enemies. And we are the only species on this earth who are prone to back pain because of working on two legs.
Then how do we find ourselves in this position today? Because we have an unique ability, the ability to think, to communicate; for which our brain is responsible. That 12 pound mass on our shoulders is the reason for what we are today.
But yeah, I find our thinking more devastating than benignant. Science and technology is ameliorating, Environment and moral values are deteriorating. We have successfully made half of the plant and animal kingdom extinct and kept another half on the brink of extinction. We have enhanced natural calamities. Increased the earth's temperature. And what not?
We have created religion, whose definition is often misinterpreted by fools so that we can have never-ending altercations.
We forgot the ability to prioritize. I have seen a politician who tied ropes to the waists of children(8-9 year olds) so that they cant escape and made them do backbreaking works. There are people who never had any proper shelter. Poverty rate in India has been declining since independence. But still, 30% (approximately) of Indians are poor. Instead of pondering all these problems some people find going after religion very convenient. (The Ayodhya debate for instance). In some government hostel, girls were facing barbarous sexual harassment. But this is not at all anything important. What is important is, how the attire of a celebrity hurt the sensitive feelings of a certain community, what measures can be taken to avoid valentines day celebrations?
Don't get an idea that I'm a pessimist. No I'm not.
Some incidents simply leave me appalled. I would never be able to understand why people fight about religion. That's beyond me. I know sitting in front of a computer and typing all this is cozy. Eloquence is Easy. Action is difficult. Wish I could do something for my country. I'm not doing anything now. But I wont say that I'll do something someday. I wont make promises unless I've distinct ideas and plans. I knew this blog would be tentative. But couldn't help. Like I said time has all the answers.

If I were not an atheist, I would believe in a God who would choose to save people on the basis of the totality of their lives and not the pattern of their words. I think he would prefer an honest and righteous atheist to a TV preacher whose every word is God, God, God, and whose every deed is foul, foul, foul.
- Isaac Asimov.

Me being me. Applied only for me.

Be yourself. Have an attitude even if "others" think of it as arrogance.

Life is not a bed of roses. You have to sacrifice a part of your enjoyment and indolence in order to achieve and enjoy something. Learn from past, live in the present. Plan for the future. Ponder the consequences before you act. Don’t jump to conclusions. Be calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle with great vigor underneath.

Don’t pay any attention to "others". Their opinion or anything they do is least important. If others dominate or intimidate you, remember that you are "allowing" them to dominate and intimidate you. It’s your problem, not theirs. Don’t choose a path because everyone else is going in it. Act according to your interests and instincts. Set a goal that suits you and work to achieve it. Don’t take any one's opinion about anything. Always be the decision-maker. Be independent. Dependency is abject.

No more role models, biographies and auto-biographies. No talking about great souls and stuff. Just become one yourself. Imagining yourself in the place of some illustrious person is going to get you nowhere. Don’t take up a task because some eminent person has done it and achieved fame. Think whether it interests you or not. Never loose your individuality. Always appreciate the great ones. But no more"follow the footsteps" saga.

Everyone has their own philosophy. Success means different to different people. Think what "success" exactly means to you. And success is what you achieve with what you get. Never complain about anything. Complaining is the prime quality of losers. If you are talented enough you can create your own way towards success. Once you define success in your lexicon understand that you are solely responsible for your success. The same goes for failures. Never blame others for anything.

Always be yourself with everyone. No chameleon stunts. It’s better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not. Never shout in anger. Just be silent. Silence always has an effect on people. If you hate or can’t tolerate someone, just remember that nobody is perfect. If you can love yourself in spite of all your faults, how can you hate someone for their minor defects? Never work with intentions to hurt others. Just be down-to-earth and mind your own business. If others underestimate you, don’t bother to correct them. It’s better to be underestimated than to be overestimated. Patience is a virtue which most people lack these days and it will make you unique if you have the right amount.

Never hate or argue with someone because their opinions clash with yours. Everyone has their own opinion. Learn to respect others beliefs and ideas. Listen to them even if you feel that they are wrong. There is something called "freedom of speech and expression"(which is myth these days) remember?Most people don’t understand the meaning of "religion".

No religion has taught to shed blood and hate other religions. There is only one religion and it’s called "HUMANITY".